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Boundaries Create a Merry Holiday Season

Happy November! It’s a little over two weeks before Thanksgiving, so my mind is on holidays and getting through them with more grace and ease. Would you like to, as well? Cool! I’ve got some ideas that will keep family time and connection the priority, not complete exhaustion, ideas that will keep your self-care and routines in place! This year, my dears, we are going to practice what the sacral chakra needs to stay balanced – boundaries!

Boundaries Support Your Sacral Chakra

The sacral chakra is associated with emotions, feelings, relationships, and relating, so it makes sense that we put into place practices that will support our sacral chakra during this holiday season. Often times, because we are so busy, we disassociate from how we feel and what we want during the holidays. Our motto becomes ‘just get through it.’ Setting clear boundaries will help to keep your intention to feel good this holiday season.

 Just Ask For Help!

First, ask your people for help! I know this may sound like a preposterous idea, because often times it seems easier to just do things ourselves, but asking for help is a superb idea!  Get your kids and partner involved in the tasks involved to create a magical holiday. Ask your mama, your siblings, your aunts, your uncles. You have a clan – get them involved! The tasks should never fall on one person. By asking for help it shows others that your time and space is sacred, and that matters. It’s modeling good boundaries and behaviors for your children, partner and friends as well.  Finally, asking for help gives others permission to ask for help as well.

Offer to Help! 

Second, if I am going to ask you to ask for help, then in the same token, help a sister out and offer! And please ladies, if someone offers to help, take them up on it! I know when I am able to help someone out, it’s like paying it forward. When I offer to help, it means I can and I want to! It is defining what I can do and am willing to do, with no expectations in return. Paying it forward is doing something nice, for the sake of kindness. And when that is the energy, then the energy moves forward.

No Is A Complete Sentence

Third, if someone is has a request you can’t fulfill because you treasure your sacred space and time, then simply say no. Offer to help with something else at a different time (and definitely honor that commitment), or ask what other ways you could contribute, perhaps financially, or brainstorm with them to get some alternatives on the table. By saying no, people begin to trust that when you do offer to help, it is coming from a genuine desire and means to help, not out of obligation. That is good energy! If someone says no to you, guess what? You have to let that go and move on respecting their no. It wasn’t meant to be.

Stand Your Ground

Fourth, stand your ground! Standing your ground doesn’t mean you are trying to change another’s decision. It means that you choose not to change yours. Teenagers are not the only people that try and flip the script. It could also be any numerous close members of your community that feel they can push your boundaries by pushing your comfort zone. Take a deep exhale, smile, and hold your ground. Saying things like, “I hear you saying ___ but this is how I feel, and I am choosing ____” is helpful dialog. Then excuse yourself and leave the room. Sometimes the best thing to do is change the scene, and let others cool down. Deep exhales are key!

Respect Other’s Boundaries

Finally, respect other’s boundaries. For me, the easiest way to do this is to not assume I know what is best for an individual, but to ask questions.  An example of respecting boundaries this holiday season could be respecting someone’s decision to not try the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving even though you know they are delicious.  When a person declines the potatoes that’s the end of the conversation about mashed potatoes. A bonus to being mindful of other boundaries, is helping to recognize and respect your own, and letting people know we expect the same in return.

With intentional boundaries in place I truly believe you and I will enjoy a great holiday season!

Interested in learning more ways to clarify, set, and stick to boundaries? Check out my Wheel of Radiance 1-1 Coaching program.

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